Photo credit// Pat Lovell USAToday
The AP Top 25 is out and we all knew how this would pan out. Since I am a curmudgeonly mouthpiece for disgruntled, crusty fans, I have the honor of giving you the weekly whiparound. Insert your tongue in cheek and hop along for the ride.
Our heroes of the week are the Indiana Hoosiers for beating 2013 SEC East champion Missouri 31-27.
1- Florida State
The Seminoles lost three first-place votes but still remain the team that has screwed up the least so far.
The offensive line is a hot, hot mess but more importantly, the Ducks looked swaggy in their mach speed unis.
The Crimson Tide gained five first-place votes because having four turnovers and beating the toothless Gators are signs of a great football team.
The Sooners gained two first-place votes because two voters actually watched the three teams ranked above them play.
We'll check back with you on November 29.
6- Texas A&M
Since the Aggies are shredding SEC defenses with their Big 12-ish passing game, only now can the vertical passing game be deemed acceptable.
The Bears will never be considered elite because they have a pass-heavy offense, right?
8- Notre Dame
In case you're counting, the Fighting Irish only have four more spots to move up before the pitchforks come out.
9- Michigan State
The Spartans have figured out how to impress pollsters: lay a 70-burger on a team whose center forgot to snap the ball on one play and got tackled for a loss.
10- Ole Miss
This too shall pass. Remember 2009?
The Bruins moved up while on a bye which means Hundley's arm must be good to go.
The Bulldogs' one loss is to South Carolina, who for the second straight week, is still ranked below them.
13- South Carolina
Perspective: the Gamecocks allowed Vanderbilt to score 34 points on them, the same amount of points that Vanderbilt scored on UMass.
14- Mississippi State
Because the unranked Bulldogs beat LSU at night in Death Valley, you are witnessing another great SEC dynasty in the making.
15- Arizona State
No. 11 UCLA plays at Arizona State this Thursday so one Pac-12 team will drop out of the rankings because obviously, we must make room for Kentucky.
Yep, the Cardinal are still ranked ahead of the team to which they lost.
Here's how this works: if LSU beats Alabama and Mississippi State loses to Alabama then all three SEC teams will deserve to make the College Football Playoff because the SEC West just beats itself up.
The struggle is real—USC dropped a spot while on a bye and Lane Kiffin is the greatest Alabama playcaller ever.
Remember when everyone thought the Badgers were a very good team because they lost a close game to LSU?
This is as good as it gets for the Cougars—unless everybody above them loses out—because we simply cannot have two independant teams in the Top 10.
Does Indiana's win over Mizzou help the Big Ten's SOS or are we going to pretend that never happened?
22- Ohio State
That Ohio State-Michigan game is starting to look like a real dog, isn't it?
23- East Carolina
Apparently spanking over 70 points on North Carolina is not as impressive as some teams' bye weeks.
24- Oklahoma State
That close loss to Florida State is the only reason why the Cowboys are here and Penn State is unranked.
25- Kansas State